My Photo
Location: Manchester, New Hampshire, United States

Wednesday, January 03, 2007




(CHICAGO)(January 3, 2007) Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, the racket-busting federal prosecutor and baseball fan says his unannounced "campaign" to run for president has been robbed of its Secret Plan. Let the dirty tricks begin! In Florida, of course. Why am I not surprised?

Giuliani's staff claims that Rudy's "secret plan" to run for president has been stolen, copied and returned. The "burglary" seems to have been a pretty sophisticated operation. And Giuliani hasn't even declared as a candidate yet.

RudyGate began with front-page headlines in New York's tabloid press. Giuliani's munchkins claim that a briefcase was removed from a private jet, not returned immediately, and only handed back after the contents had been copied. Frankly, it seems far-fetched. But remind me never to ride on a private jet.

How would someone know just which briefcase to hit? Are Republicans really that expert at cracking briefcases when they can’t crack the insurgency in Iraq? And in Florida of all places? How could someone who worked for the security-paranoid Giuliani be carrying the secret game plan on a trip in Florida? Why would he?

Indeed. Not since Richard Nixon's "Secret Plan to End the War in Viet-Nam" has there been such a commotion over a Secret Plan. For Rudy to Run. And now you know how lawyers create paperwork: the "secret" plan is already 140 pages long and he hasn't even thrown his hat in the ring. With appendices. Bottom line: lawyers like paper. 140 pages is only a down payment on the secret plan. Of course, President Nixon claimed he never had a secret plan. Giuliani has admitted he did.

Florida, of course, is a sleazy place, as well as a sunny locale. And if it had to happen anywhere, it might as well have happened in Florida. The Sunshine State is really Chicago South, a warm weather port for those sailing in an ethically challenged seas. Nevertheless, how would a baggage handler, or someone working for dopey Governor Charlie Crist, know there was gold in that thar' briefcase? Even in Florida there are limits. Still.

Giuliani Partners, Rudy's business base, has a lot of lawyers running around the halls. They have become sloppy since the days when Giuliani locked down City Hall and barred the public.

Sunny Mindel, Giuliani's mouthpiece, says RudyGate was a "dirty trick." How does she know? Has she never heard of "lost luggage?"

The New York Daily News referred to "Rudy's Private Parts," and said the episode was "Bad News." The paper suggested Giuliani hire a security consultant to improve campaign security. Which firm? Giuliani's of course. If only this had happened a few days ago we could have said "Ho, ho, ho." Too late for that.

I have an alternative theory. Like Barack Obama, who writes a book saying he was a teenage cocaine user, someone at Giuliani Partners may be smarter than they appear. Politicians love to get bad news out of the way early, and often are creative in salting the information where it will generate credibility without suspicion.

When I was a teenager in high school I worked weekends at the Waverly Inn, a high-end restaurant in Chesire, Connecticut. The then owner, Fred Roozen, wanted a divorce and his wife wouldn’t give him one. So one day he told her to take his suit to the cleaners. She did what you or I would do: before dropping off the clothes she checked the pockets. And found the "love diary."

I still remember the headline: "Innkeeper Foiled by Love Diary." Fred Roozen hadn't been foiled at all. He had planted the evidence so his wife would have grounds to divorce him, and she did. He was happy as a clam. And a free man at that.

So I think it is equally plausible that someone within the Giuliani campaign planted the "lost" briefcase and then "found" it, and the entire episode may have been a lower-level operation to get the touchy issues out early without tying the candidate to any of the muck. It worked, if that was the plan. I'm not suggesting Rudy knew. I don’t think the higher-ups did. But my theory is as plausible as Mindel's "crooked baggage handler."

Well, here we are in 2007. None of the "major" candidates for president in 2008 has announced yet. And the dirty tricks season, if you can believe Sunny Mindel and reject my theory, has already begun. Happy campaigning everyone. And a "Ho, ho, ho" to you too. Better late than not at all.

Chicago-based Internet journalist, broadcaster and critic Andy Martin is the Executive Editor and publisher of © Copyright by Andy Martin 2007. Martin covers national politics with forty years of personal experience. Columns also posted at Comments? E-mail: Media contact: (866) 706-2639.


Post a Comment

<< Home