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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New York news conference: “Sweet Caroline” Kennedy’s sour political debut

Andy Martin on the transfiguration of Camelot to Spamalot. Why does Barack Obama want an obviously unqualified Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg in the U. S. Senate? Andy Martin comes up with a wild theory.

New York news conference: Wednesday, December 31st

Internet powerhouse Andy Martin writes on “Sweet Caroline” Kennedy’s sour political debut

Executive Editor

“Factually Correct, Not
Politically Correct”





(NEW YORK)(December 31, 2008) Time is Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg’s enemy: the longer she has to run a non-campaign for appointment to Hillary Clinton’s U. S. senate seat, the worse she looks. But first we start with some catty questions.

Regular readers of know we function as a “red meat” source for investigative journalism and international commentary. We serve filet of Obama tartare on a regular basis. But in this New Year’s Eve column and news conference set in celebratory midtown Manhattan, we begin with two unpleasant inquiries for “candidate” Caroline Kennedy. No one has yet pursued these “Page Sixy” questions, but they are self-evident given Kennedy’s diffidence about discussing herself and her qualifications to represent New York in the U. S. Senate.

There is some support for our inquiries. In an interview with the New York Times, Caroline equated questions about her decision-making process at home with “women’s magazines” inquiries.

And so the first question: where’s Ed? Mrs. Kennedy is, of course, a married woman. To Edward Schlossberg. But her husband appears to have taken a hike. He is nowhere to be seen. Are they living apart? Is this another “troubled” Kennedy marriage? Does he approve of her “campaign” for the senate? Did he counsel against it? Mr. Schlossberg’s absence in Mrs. Schlossberg’s campaign for office seems very peculiar.

Kennedy told the New York Times she and Schlossberg are close. But she had no recollection of the moment when the two of them discussed and decided on her campaign. How could she forget such a dramatic moment? So soon after it took place?

Does Ed’s business dominate his life 24/7? Where are the photos of the two together?

Especially for a first-time candidate, a husband/helpmate would sooth the pain and irritation of being exposed to the media. Maybe there is a good explanation for Schlossberg’s disappearance; he could be in Uganda with Rahm Emanuel on a “long-planned” vacation. Nevertheless, the mainstream media have tiptoed daintily around the question of Mrs. Schlossberg’s missing husband. We do not. Where’s Ed? People have a right to know if her family distress would distract her from senate duties.

Secondly, why does she look so old for such a young woman? Yours truly, who stopped counting at the Jack Bennyesque age of 39, is struck by how old and lined Kennedy’s face looks for such a young and pampered woman. Fifty today is not old. Kennedy looks twenty years older than her age. Is Mrs. Kennedy Schlossberg up to the rigors of serving in the senate and then campaigning across the state over the next two years? With her fortune she can obviously afford the occasional facial. She needs one.

She also seems to be a little slow on the uptake: she says that the attacks of 9/11 motivated her to seek public office. That was seven years ago.

It seems that each day brings new bad news for Caroline. The latest, Mayor Bloomberg’s associates are effacing themselves from her campaign.

And then there’s the Governor himself. The one “voter” in Kennedy’s “campaign.” He sent her a lump of coal on Christmas Eve: the governor compared Kennedy’s efforts to, well, “This whole thing sounds more like the prelude to a high school musical than the choosing of a senator." Ouch. That’s a sour note for an off-Broadway production struggling to make it to the Great White Way.

Finally, there is New York Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, who suggests Kennedy is a (Mayor) Bloomberg stooge. Silver is not being golden for Kennedy. Camelot Spamalot. Caroline has been transfigured from a legacy to a Monty Python charade. Doesn’t Mr. Silver know who Caroline is?

Camelot, where art thou?

Kennedy has shown one qualification for politics: she’s two-faced. When Hillary Clinton was the front-runner, she was a Clinton backer. When Barack Obama took the lead she switched to Obama. Loyalty may not be her strong suit. Where’s Ed?

Kennedy’s use of the term “you know” 142 times with the New York Times (I did not count myself) even drew the attention of the London Telegraph.

It is obvious that despite her lifetime in the public eye, Caroline has no forensic ability. She may have a law degree but she is a “lawyer” in name only. One of the things lawyers learn to do is banter, schmooze, talk about their cases, clients, etc. She is stiff, formal, distant.

The New York Times interview and transcript are probably the most devastating evidence against Kennedy. The interview is painful to read (see above). Kennedy shows no ability to take a stand, state a case, make a plain remark. Which brings us to Barack Obama.

Obama is supporting Kennedy Schlossberg. Will that make a difference? My guess is “no.” Obama does not swing much of a bat in New York. Pressure from him could backfire. Why would Obama want someone who is obviously so unqualified in the senate?

But then John McCain’s summer ad said it all: Obama is the world’s greatest celebrity. And there are no greater celebrities than the Kennedy dynasty. They backed Obama. He is repaying the favor, maybe.

So why does Obama want Kennedy Schlossberg in the Senate? Why “senator” instead of “ambassador?” Here’s my wild theory: In 2012 Obama dumps Joe Biden (“Sorry, Joe”) and adds Kennedy to the ticket. Celebrity galore. Obama-Kennedy. According to Caroline in the N Y Times, she had her “senator” signs ordered before she spoke with her husband in their completely forgettable discussion about her running. Obama is probably printing his 2012 signs, already.

And so, this must be a difficult New Year’s Eve for Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. Instead of all coming together, her efforts seem to all be coming apart. All the gold in her massive fortune can’t buy love from Sheldon Silver. High school musical, indeed. Sad.

Happy New year everyone.

We’ll be back with more ContrarianCommentary in 2009.



Internet powerhouse and columnist Author Andy Martin


Internet warrior Andy Martin says that Caroline Kennedy’s off-Broadway debut as a politician will never make it to the Great White way in Washington


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Andy Martin is a legendary Chicago muckraker, author, Internet columnist, radio talk show host, broadcaster and media critic. He has over forty years of broadcasting experience in radio and television. He is currently based in New York promoting his best-selling book, Obama: The Man Behind The Mask. Andy is the Executive Editor and publisher of © Copyright by Andy Martin 2008.

Martin comments on regional, national and world events with over forty years of experience. He holds a Juris Doctor degree from the University of Illinois College of Law and is a former adjunct professor of law at the City University of New York.

His columns are also posted at; Andy is the author of Obama: The Man Behind The Mask.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting take on the issue...hopefully her "campaign" falls apart quickly and we'll never have to know the pain of an Obama/Kennedy ticket!

T the D

5:33 PM  

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